Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

True Love Reading Cards: Attract and Create the Love You Desire by Belinda Grace & Lori Banks

, 13 Nov 2021

Belinda Grace's oracle is a soulful exploration of romantic relationships that will be useful for singles or partnered people. The imagery draws on issues that affect and influence relationships for good or bad. Some of the imagery uses well-known world myths to illustrate couple dynamics and qualities of relating. This being the case, the cards can be used in counseling or therapeutic settings.
 
Lori Banks' artwork  is just my cup of tea: colorful symbolic paintings that are pregnant with meaning and very intuitive to use. However, what makes this decks so lovely to me is not just the cute artwork, is the quality of the guidebook and the texts that accompany eachc card.
 
FAB QUALITY
RockPool demonstrates, once more, that other Tarot publishing houses have much to learn on how to produce affordable good-quality decks.
> Beautiful keepsake box with magnetic clip.
> The quality of the booklet is amazing. Premium glossy paper, color illustrations, good-sized lettering.
> Flexible good quality glossy cards, easy to shuffle and handle. Despite the size, the deck is light and not bulky.
> Good value for money. 
 

ON THE FLIP SIDE
> The cards are a big too big for people with small hands.
> No ethnic or gender diversity.
> Three of the full body frontal images have wrong proportions between head and body, thus, the characters look a bit dwarfish: The Divine Masculine, Chivalry and the Sacred Woman. 

Practical Intuition in Love: Let Your Intuition Guide You to the Love of Your Life by Laura Day (1998)

, 22 Jul 2021

I listened to this audiobook, narrated by the author herself, many years ago. Laura Day mixes her profound intuitive and psychic knowledge, with the Psychology of Love, and the Law of Attraction with psychology of love and knowledge of how the subconscious works to produce an unique book that was really an example of what today is common among good relationship books.

Laura Day's approach to love is not fluff. You will have to reply to many questions (to yourself), dig down on who you are, who you are looking for, how to prepare yourself to find him/her, your possible blocks to love, and what love is or is not.

I especially loved the intuitive exercises she proposes, especially those in which you don't know their purpose/question until you've finished them . You'll find them delightful, especially if you are a very visual and/or imaginative person. They teach you many things about yourself and will surprise you.

I would have liked the book to go for longer, forever!, and to have more practical exercises. After finishing this book, I read Laura's How to Rule the World from your Couch, which has a lot to do with love (especially the chapter body heat telepathy), so I recommend reading both books at once if you're looking for advice on matters of the heart.

This is not your book if you are looking for dating tips, how to act, how to perform in front of a man/woman hiding who you truly are, to find his/her approval or play any sort of games to get attention and feed your wounded ego. If you are looking for real love, true love, and are intuitive you will enjoy this book.
 
Laura Day's voice and narration style is very engaging, warm and joyful.

The Lover's Path Tarot by Kris Waldherr

, 5 Mar 2021

US Games Systems are in a way old-fashioned, but also among the best in the market re quality of the cards. They are also  less luxurious and curated as the most modern ones produced by Rockpool or Hayhouse publishing houses. 

GREAT

> Cards paper quality and size are perfect, on the medium side, with glossy flexible paper that shuffles well and is not heavy to handle despite the bulk.Cards slip off easily and that's the way I want my cards to come out.

> The cards back design is wonderful in its simplicity and the deck is easily recognisable. Also, the design is good because you cannot guess whether the cards are up or reversed before picking them up.

> Despite the guide booklet being very short, it goes to the point and summarizes well the meaning of each card and provides a brief description of the lovers' story depicted in each major arcana card.  In that regard, it's perfect for beginners. 

> Perfect for love and relationship readings without losing the spirit of tarot.  The cards are interpreted specifically for relationships, so they are more straightforward to read than those in other generic decks.  

> Beautiful artwork. The artwork reminds me of the early renaissance frescoes and painters but it also of the renaissance and pre-Raphafaelites.


DOWNSIDES
> Poor-quality box packaging.

> Booklet is minimal,  bad quality paper and lettering is tiny so I need a magnifying glass to read it properly.

> Despite the seller advertising that this deck edition comes with a full-colour spread sheet, that this is not the case at all. I think that might be a listing error, yet, why not correcting it? There are other reviewers who just mentioned the same.

> I think they put the apostrophe in the title in the wrong place...

DECK STRUCTURE

MAJOR ARCANA EQUIVALENCES

0- Innocence = The Fool. 1- Magic = The Magician. 2- Wisdom = High Priestess.3- Fertility = Empress. 4- Power = Emperor. 5- Tradition = Hierophant. 6- Love = Lovers. 7-Desire = Chariot. 8- Strength. 9- Contemplation = Hermit. 10- Fortune = Wheel of fortune. 11- Justice. 12- Sacrifice = Hanged man. 13- Transformation = Death. 14- Balance = Temperance. 15- Temptation = Devil. 16- Oppression = Tower. 17-Grace = Star. 18- Illusion = Moon. 19- Awakening = Sun. 20- Judgement. 21- Triumph = World. As you can see the interpretation is respectful with the original tarot meanings but with some clearer names and some adjustments with regards to some cards (chariot, the hanged man, the tower., moon and the sun.) 

SUITS

Cups (water), Staves (wands, fire), Arrows (swords, air), Coins (pentacles, earth).

Most cards show couples, relating in a way or another. All the pairs come from historical and mythological stories and characters. Some of the couples depicted in the cards are: Pamina & Tamino, Merlin & Morgan le Fay, Shahrazade &Shahriyar, Cleopatra & Anthony, Romeo & Juliet, Isis & Osiris, Tristan & Isolde, Brunnhilde & Siegfried, Danae & Zeus, Penelope & Odysseus, Orpheus & Eurydice, Pluto & Persephone, Venus & Vulcan, Paolo & Francesca, Aeneas & Dido, Dante & Beatrice, Cupid & Psyche, Tannhauser & Elisabeth, Ariadne & Bacchus.

 

 



Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance by Felicia Brings & Susan Winter (2000)

, 17 Oct 2020

 Now that I've finished this book, having dated some much younger men myself in the past it reflects very well some of my experiences, obstacles and challenges when dating them. Surprisingly and sadly enough, despite the book having been first been published in 2000, is still fresh and relevant two decades later.

Main Takeaways.

> Our culture has double standards for age differences between both sexes that are demeaning and damaging for women and are based on patriarchal views of relationships and of what a woman brings to a relationship for this to be successful.
> Couples with important age differences face the same challenges as other couples, and succeed and fail in the same ways and as much.
> Inter-age relationships in which the woman is much older are a new paradigm in relationships that hasn't sunk in in our culture as yet. These couples are creating new archetypal ways of relating, have to make their way on their own, and can’t look to former relationship models to guide them through this journey.
> Despite what your friends or the media tells you, there are gazillion examples of happy durable inter-age relationships in which the woman is older or much older.
> The book offers practical sound advice to face both partner's family and peers, on how to deal with women's own doubts about the relationship and body image, and advice on who not to become your younger partner's mother, teacher or just smother him, among other things. There are many real life examples and we get to see both sides, men's and women's who are/were in this kind of relationship and are/were happy and fulfilled.
> Courtship old-style works also in this kind of relationships.
>  The fact that men are much younger doesn't ever excuse their bad behavior.
> The authors reminds us of what true intimacy is and what is not is so obvious and so poignant.
> It debunks the myth that all young men who date older women are gigolos and also the myth that these older women have a wounded ego and/or are nymphomaniacs.
> There are many challenges specific to this kind of relationships.
> This quote from one of the real life stories: “God,” I prayed, “send me someone who loves my body more than I do.” (p. 154).
> You may not be what his family expected him to bring home and you may not have been their choice as his mate, but a family who truly is invested in their son’s happiness will see the benefits and happiness you bring to his life. (pp. 180-181).

Downsides.

> Perhaps the main downside of the book is the fact that the book feels a bit repetitive at times re the existence of double standards and the patriarchal weight on the views on this kind of relationships.
> Some of the examples come from couples whose age difference isn't even 10 years, something that I personally don't consider a bit deal, and is widely accepted nowadays.
> As this is a Kindle edition, I would have loved a bit of update been made using new psychology and relationships studies and the evolution of relationships in society.
 

Kindle Edition.

A good edition overall, but the two links provided re websites to dating without age restrictions mentioned at the end of  the book aren't longer current.

It's A Guy Thing: A Owner's Manual for Women: An Owners Manual for Women by David Deida (2010)

, 5 Jan 2019

As a couples counsellors, Deida's unique emphasis on sexual polarity, on understanding the different ways women and men, communicate, relate and are, and the different ways in which masculine and feminine energies manifest and interact,  explains why many of this books, this included, become a before-and-after book for many women, tired of the usual bluff they find in relationship and dating books. It's a Guy Thing is still relevant and useful for women, even though it was first published in 1997.

This is a Q&A sort of book on all things  men. Most of the questions are something that most women have asked themselves, or are still asking themselves, about the men in their life. If you have read something else by Deida, you will find here what you can find in other of his books, but with a few more practical tips on precise queries. If you haven't read any of Deida's books, you will still be surprised by his bold, unique and challenging voice; yet, I would recommend you by read Intimate Communion first, to best understand what Deida means by sexual polarity and Deida's tantric approach to relationships.

GREAT 
Deida makes great comments and gives great advice throughout the book, but one of the statements that I liked the most was this: "This inner child responds when our buttons, our childhood wounds, get pushed. Our feminine button gets pushed when we feel unloved; our masculine button gets pushed when we feel constrained and not free to do what we want. In response to feeling unloved or constrained, we act like little children. “If you don’t give me the love (or freedom) that I want, then I’m going to collapse or close down or leave you.” No man is capable of always giving you the love that you want. When your inner child doesn’t get its way it will want to run away, collapse or kick back. Intimacy, like parenthood, is a practice that requires giving love to your partner even while he is pushing your buttons or kicking your shins. Love begets love. Punishment and withdrawal without love do not provide the basis for trust and real growth in intimacy". (loc. 2333).
TO IMPROVE
The book reads at times as a transcription of a real Q&A due to the constant repetition of the same statement within a given question, which is something that easily happens while giving a talk, but something inexcusable in a book in which an editor has put some work. The book would have benefited of a bit of verbal weeding.

NOT NEW
Having John Gray's Men are from Mars and Women from Venus among my favourite books on relationships, I found that many of the things that Deida says in this book were basically a repetition
of what Dr Gray had written in 1992 (Deida's book was written in 1995).

MISSING
Deida's analysis would have benefited from Gary Chapman's points in The Five Languages of Love (1995). One of the most important things you can do to re-energise your relationship is learning to recognise the way your partner gives love and wants love to be given to him/her.  The 'languages of love' aren't based on polarity, doing-receiving-giving kinda stuff, but on the way individual personalities (not gender or sexual energies) feel loved and express their love.

DANGEROUS
Deida says, "Very frequently in abusive relationships, for instance, one partner will have difficulty leaving even though it’s in her best interest. She has become addicted to the relationship". (loc. 1990)

I think that this comment should be amended or eliminated. People working with domestic violence victims will tell you that addiction is not what keeps most women attached to the abuser. Moreover, the statement, unintentionally I believe, puts somewhat the blame on the victim. 


Flirtology by Jean Smith (2018)

, 20 Jul 2018

A book for both men and women, Flirtology is a mix of flirting for dummies, an SOS guide to human connection  and interaction (not just romantic), and a clear-head common-sense advice on healthy dating, enveloped in Jane Smith's warmth, no-games, no-tricks, no-fake approach to dating.

Written in a very chatty and witty tone, the book is very well structured and clear, with any question you might ask already presented and answered for you. It reads easily and is not only helpful, but also very entertaining. As you could expect, there are many real-life examples, but the stories are short and sweet, to the point, never too many, never too long, never too self-centred.

This book will especially impact people who are very rational and have little tolerance for babble or BS, people who value common sense, honesty, genuine people and relationships, and appreciate warmth. Many of the things that Smith says aren't really that new or wow, and they were said before any anthropological project came into fruition, but Smith wraps things very nicely and links connecting with strangers, connecting for flirting, flirting and dating in a very organic way. Besides, the fact that she has lived and studied human connection in different countries and cultures gives her statements a depth and believability that other books don't have.

Smith's Flirtology System is what she calls the HOT APE system; the acronym stands for the main points of flirting: Humour, open language, touch, attention, proximity and eye contact.

I LOVED
Smith promises, "the book will: debunk the myths that surround flirting; give you sure-fire ways to avoid those awkward tongue-tied moments; make sure you never fear rejection again; make you believe that you too are a fabulous flirt; help you pinpoint what it is you are looking for; unlock the secrets of my H.O.T. A.P.E. system to bring out your inner flirt encourage you to practise, practise and practise (and have fun while doing it); give you the confidence to speak to anyone, anywhere get results, without ever compromising who you are."  (pp. 13-14). I think she delivers.

Smith debunks online dating and online relationships in a very matter of fact, scientific, rational way. If you want to connect you need to go out there, that is the place where most people interact and where most people, still today, find their partners.

Smith's advice promotes healthy relationships based on presenting a real version of ourselves to attract people who resonate with our real selves, making ourselves responsible for our own happiness, minimising physical attraction as main element of attraction and focusing, instead, in those things that we want to be there in, say, five years. Her deal-breakers section is really helpful and, again, debunks many myths. Are our deal-breakers really so?  She does not tell us which ones to chose, just to be serious and sincere with ourselves, so those main five we chose really matter to us long term and help us cut short relationships that aren't good for us.

Her advice on how to beat fear of failure and rejection is amazingly clear, simple, and convincing. Extremely helpful.

THE MAIN TASKS
> Get into the practice of talking to people asking at least one question to five different strangers, and try to build rapport with at least one stranger.
> As a question, anything, see how the other person responds, if they do positively continue building rapport.
> Ask open questions and be present while talking to the person, so that we take everything of what is happening in, the looks, attitude, body language, reactions and vibe of the other person.
> Walk up to strangers; smile at commuters on public transport; ask people questions which are more than a simple query about the time.
> Give genuine compliments to strangers.

DOWNSIDES
> The "what sort of flirt are you?' quiz was nice and sweet, but also too simplistic to help decide on a real profile.
> This is not a book for introverts as much as extroverts and shy people. Although many of the items of advice are applicable to anybody, introvert or extrovert, there are too many parties, pubs, and bars mentioned in the book to be something that an introvert would be going, wanting to go or enjoy going to. The pub and drinking culture are very strong in the UK; however, where I live, you don't find quality men in a bar, you find flings.
> Many times (I have experience that myself) flirting is interpreted as 'I am looking for a rout' instead of real flirty sassy get-a-date sort of thing. I wonder whether there is a reason for that, if it is cultural, and whether flirting has some lines that should not be crossed not to get into trouble. Nothing of the sort was mentioned or discussed in the book.
> Some of the advice she gives contradicts that given by other dating gurus. So, whom do we believe?

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz

, 4 Oct 2014

In alignment with the ideas and principles shown in Ruiz's The Four Agreements, the Mastery of Love approaches the basics of human relationships (romantic and non romantic) by going to the root of what love is, and how true happiness can be found and achieved.

Don Miguel Ruiz uses many metaphorical stories and fables to make his points, and, despite the simplicity of the language, he is able to convey deep and meaningful concepts. 

Some of the lessons this book teaches are:
- To have a successful relationship with anybody, no matter the type, you have to work mostly on yourself.
- If you don't truly genuinely love yourself, nobody will.
- If you don't respect yourself, nobody will. Actually, they'll abuse you.
- If you don't accept your body as it is, you are disrespecting yourself, you become insecure and an easy pray to your own and everybody else's criticism. Physical beauty is just an ever-changing idea that means nothing.
- See people for what they are, not for what they could be.
- Accept people for what they are, not for what you want them to be.
- If your partner doesn't have what you are looking for, look for another partner.
- Don't try to change the other person. People don't change that much. 
- You can't find happiness unless you are already happy inside. 
- You can't find happiness if fear rules your life.
- People vibrate at the same frequency levels and find/meet who they "are", not what they are looking for.
- Don't let your believe system (partly family inheritedy) and programming (Social/cultural conditioning) rule your life. You want to dream your own dreams, not somebody else's.
- Be true to who you are, and don't fake what you are not. The latter takes much more effort and makes your life more difficult and less fulfilled.
- Forgiveness makes you happier, as cleans out the poison in your emotional body.
- Accept that we are mind and body, and that our animal instincts are nothing to be ashamed of.
- In a couple, the only half you can control is you.
- Improvement is a a fight against your social programming, a 24/7 battle against yourself and your thoughts and emotional reactions.  
- We perceive the world with the eyes of our emotions. If they are dirty, we see a dirty world. If you see it rosy, rosy it is.

The book is very philosophical, and helps to clear up our mind when we have doubts about a date, a person with whom we are starting a relationship, or a partner/relative with whom we are having communication or relation problems. 

The book is also repetitive, ruthless and pitiless. In a way, tells us to stop with the excuses we give ourselves, do something or shut up. This is not a book for the faint hearted. Don't read it thinking that you will find a magic potion to date the hot new guy/girl on the block or sort out your family relationships. Still, it is a book worth reading, because in its few pages provides us with many useful ideas to ponder about what human connection is and can be.

Despite its title, the Mastery of Love lacks a bit of practicality regarding techniques to implement the advice given, except for some exceptions, and some final prayers, which aren't of much help if you aren't a believer. For ex. if you don't love yourself, how do learn to love yourself? f you are blind and you cannot see, how can do you open your eyes? If you have been abused since childhood, how do you learn to stop the abuse? If you are with somebody who has addictions, mental problems or anger issues, what do you do? Abandon him? Should you abandon any person with whom you don't have a fluffy initial relationship? That sort of questions. Although some of the things Ruiz mentions can be easily accepted, at least at an intellectual and spiritual level, the lack of practical techniques and exercises makes difficult for the reader to go from the intellectual/spiritual acceptance of the ideas and principles mentioned in the book, to a place where things flow naturally from the heart and you experience those feelings yourself.

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo (2004)

, 5 Sept 2012

M
any years have elapsed since I first read this book, nearly 2 decades, and I can swear by it. To me, this is one of those classic books that any teenage girl and young woman should read. It is not only funny and entertaining to read (a movie was made out of it, that says it all), but it also cuts the crap that we use to cheer ourselves or our friends when dealing with a person  who is not giving us anything but breadcrumbs.

The feminine tend to support each other in relationships and emotional crisis, which is wonderful, and to think the best of the love interest we fancy. However, but by doing this, we contribute to spread a crappy fantasy that does not help us get over a crush, gives wings to guys who are unworthy, immature unavailable or manipulative people, while let others pass by.

The book does not blame anybody, does not force one to do anything, fake anything or change who we are. It tells us to get on with our life because if he really likes you, he will do the impossible to get your attention and show you that he likes you. It sounds very basic common sense but we women tend to be nonsensical when we're emotionally loaded, no matter our intelligence or common sense in other aspects of life.

I have experience the basic advise in this book to be really accurate, and bullet proof. The exception is probably the exception and not the norm. 
 
One of those self-help books that every woman should read at an early age. The sooner the better. It helps to let the crappy crappola people disappear from our lives quicker, and open the door to those who are decent and adult.