In alignment with
the ideas and principles shown in Ruiz's The Four Agreements, the
Mastery of Love approaches the basics of human relationships (romantic
and non romantic) by going to the root of what love is, and how true
happiness can be found and achieved.
Don Miguel Ruiz uses many
metaphorical stories and fables to make his points, and, despite the
simplicity of the language, he is able to convey deep and meaningful
concepts.
Some of the lessons this book teaches are:
- To have a successful relationship with anybody, no matter the type, you have to work mostly on yourself.
- If you don't truly genuinely love yourself, nobody will.
- If you don't respect yourself, nobody will. Actually, they'll abuse you.
-
If you don't accept your body as it is, you are disrespecting yourself,
you become insecure and an easy pray to your own and everybody else's
criticism. Physical beauty is just an ever-changing idea that means
nothing.
- See people for what they are, not for what they could be.
- Accept people for what they are, not for what you want them to be.
- If your partner doesn't have what you are looking for, look for another partner.
- Don't try to change the other person. People don't change that much.
- You can't find happiness unless you are already happy inside.
- You can't find happiness if fear rules your life.
- People vibrate at the same frequency levels and find/meet who they "are", not what they are looking for.
-
Don't let your believe system (partly family inheritedy) and
programming (Social/cultural conditioning) rule your life. You want to
dream your own dreams, not somebody else's.
- Be true to who you are,
and don't fake what you are not. The latter takes much more effort and
makes your life more difficult and less fulfilled.
- Forgiveness makes you happier, as cleans out the poison in your emotional body.
- Accept that we are mind and body, and that our animal instincts are nothing to be ashamed of.
- In a couple, the only half you can control is you.
-
Improvement is a a fight against your social programming, a 24/7 battle
against yourself and your thoughts and emotional reactions.
- We perceive the world with the eyes of our emotions. If they are dirty, we see a dirty world. If you see it rosy, rosy it is.
The
book is very philosophical, and helps to clear up our mind when we have
doubts about a date, a person with whom we are starting a relationship,
or a partner/relative with whom we are having communication or relation
problems.
The
book is also repetitive, ruthless and pitiless. In a way, tells us to
stop with the excuses we give ourselves, do something or shut up. This
is not a book for the faint hearted. Don't read it thinking that you
will find a magic potion to date the hot new guy/girl on the block or
sort out your family relationships. Still, it is a book worth reading,
because in its few pages provides us with many useful ideas to ponder
about what human connection is and can be.
Despite
its title, the Mastery of Love lacks a bit of practicality regarding
techniques to implement the advice given, except for some exceptions,
and some final prayers, which aren't of much help if you aren't a
believer. For ex. if you don't love
yourself, how do learn to love yourself? f you are blind and you
cannot see, how can do you open your eyes? If you have been abused
since childhood, how do you learn to stop the abuse? If you are with
somebody who has addictions, mental problems or anger issues, what do
you do? Abandon him? Should you abandon any person with whom you don't
have a fluffy initial relationship? That sort of
questions. Although some of the things Ruiz mentions can be easily
accepted, at least at an intellectual and spiritual level, the lack of
practical techniques and exercises makes difficult for the reader to go
from the intellectual/spiritual acceptance of the ideas and principles
mentioned in the book, to a place where things flow naturally from the
heart and you experience those feelings yourself.
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