Showing posts with label Applied Psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Applied Psychology. Show all posts

Gratitude: Inspirational Card Deck and Guidebook by Caitlin Scholl

, 31 Dec 2021

THINGS I LOVE
> Caitlin Sholl's texts and the advice given are terrific. The author guides us and allows us to deep dive into gratitude with prompts to make us find things we are grateful for, and tips on how to express gratitude. Scholl's definition of and introduction to gratitude are wonderful and very unique.
> The deck structure. The cards are organised in three sections and energies: 1/ Affirmation, connected to the morning. 2/ Inspiration, connected to midday. 3/ Reflection, connected to the evening. They have three different coding colours (yellow, green and violet) and each card comes with an inspiration quote at the top, and some items of advice to follow on the day, plus the extended advice in the guidebook.
 > The overall pastel colour scheme and the whole visual design of the deck, which is minimalist and very elegant.
> The plush deck bag, which is an awesome bonus.
> The quality of the cards and the fact that they shuffle well.
> You can use just the cards or just the booklet without missing anything.
> You can use the different sections at different times of the day or shuffle all of them at once. In that regard, the deck is very versatile.
> The booklet is printed in good quality glossy paper and is bound loosely so you can open it comfortably.
> Good value for money
.
NOT SO GOOD> The contrast between the background and the lettering is deficient overall, but especially noticeable in the yellow set.
> The booklet's deficiencies are unforgivable:
-- The binding is just lightly glued. I was just gently browsing the booklet and two came off unglued from the bottom. Can you imagine if I use this properly?
-- The cards aren't numbered, so the awesome extra information on each card has to be looked up in the guidebook manually, just within the corresponding section. As the cards are made to shuffle, this look-up can be a bit labyrinthine, time consuming and not very helpful. I find surprising that the editorial house didn't pay attention to something so important for a guidebook, because, otherwise, it's not a guide, it's a book where to search for information.
-- The index is too generic to be of any use.
-- The cover is just paper, not even a bit of cardboard to hold the whole thing together.
-- This being the case, I feel hesitant to gift someone with this deck, even though I think this is just a wonderful deck.
> I can use just the booklet or just the cards, not both combined for the reasons mentioned above.

MIND
The cards are on the large side, so if you, like me, have small hands, you might struggle with the shuffling.
 
WISH
I would love seeing the booklet properly reprinted and edited.  
 
 

Self-Care: Inspirational Card Deck and Guidebook by Caitlin Scholl

, 26 Dec 2021

I bought this to give it as a gift a friend who would benefit from such an inspirational deck as she's going through a lot. The conception and healing properties of the deck are undeniable, yet, the quality of the final product isn't good and I ended keeping it myself, as I don't want to gift anything that looks cheap.

THINGS I LOVE
> The structure of the deck.
The deck is structured on three sections (affirmation, inspiration and reflection) with three different pastel colors (blue, green and violet) and each card comes with an inspiration quote at the top, and some generic advice to follow on the day, plus the extended advice in the guidebook.
> The quality of the writing and the advice given by Scholl are terrific and covers not only self care when you're are on your own, but also when you're in social settings. 
> The overall pastel palette of the deck, which gives a calming vibe to it. 
> The quality of the card stock. 
 > The elegant imagery and card design.
> The plush pouch bag being included in the set, also the fabric is very pleasurable to touch.
> The booklet is printed in good quality glossy paper and is 'bound' loosely so you can comfortably open it flat.
> The quality of the keepsake box.
> Good priced an good value for money.
NOT SO GOOD
>  As per my photo, the top layer of the printed paper arrived bubbled up. This is not the result of the posting and handling as the deck arrived sealed in plastic and well packaged, but the result of not spreading well the sheet of paper on the cardboard on the glue. This being the case I couldn't gift my friend with something it looks used or badly done.  
> Some of the quotes and the advice given on them is not always really connected, at least to me.
> The booklet's deficiencies:
-- The binding of the booklet is just glue, and it's so tightly done that the pages will certainly come off as soon as I start to use it frequently.  
-- The structure of the booklet. The cards aren't numbered, so the awesome extra information on each card has to be looked up manually, just within the corresponding section. As the cards are made to shuffle, this look up can be a bit labyrinthine, time consuming and not very helpful.  I find surprising that the editorial house didn't pay attention to something so important for a guidebook, because otherwise it is not a guide, it is a book where to search for information.
-- The index is also too generic to be of any use.
-- The cover of the booklet is paper thin, literally just paper, not even a bit of cardboard to hold the hole thing together.
 MIND 
The cards are on the large side

OVERALL
This could have been an awesome deck if the some basic stuff had been been tended to properly. Despite the undeniable psychotherapeutic  quality of the deck as a self-care tool, the overall cheap quality of the product and the poor structuring of the guidebook end resting value to a deck that deserves being better curated and produced. 
 


The Spirit Messages. Daily Guidance Oracle Deck by John Holland & Matt Manley

, 24 Apr 2021

John Holland is not only a gifted internationally-renowned medium, he's also the author of some of my more helpful card decks, as they're uncannily intuitive and divinatory. This card deck is very different from his more tarot-derived Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck  and The Psychic Tarot for the Heart Oracle Deck. I see this deck, despite being labelled as spiritual, more like a therapeutic psychological tool for guidance and self-growth.
 
 
THE ARTWORK 
Manley's work is, as he himself says, "a combination of oil on canvas paintings, pencil and ink drawings, paint textures, photos, direct scans, all layered and combined in Photoshop." Manley's imagery focuses on heads and torsos, gorgeous portraits with conceptual and spiritual elements added to them. The images are captivating, rich, intimate and colourful. I love that there is racial and gender diversity in this deck; it is refreshing because, lately, Hay House tends to produce decks that are overwhelmingly feminine.  

 
THE GOOD
> A deck that is good both for psychological and spiritual introspection, and it can be used in a a therapeutic or home setting. I think this goes well with Myss' Archetype Cards and Segal's Mystical Healing cards, among other decks. 
> The concepts depicted in the deck are, overall, quite original.
> Inspired colourful fine artwork with racial and gender diversity.
> Each card includes a summary of the meaning so you don't have to check the guidebook unless you really want.
> Good sturdy packing box.
> Good quality glossy cardboard. 


THE NOT SO GOOD 

> A bit heavy deck.  
> The cards tend to stick to each other and aren't comfortable to shuffle.  
> The presence of black characters is minimal.  
 > The back of the cards looks amateur Photoshop.
> Average guidebook printing and paper quality.  
> The packaging is overall boring re colour and cover image. It doesn't make justice to the fine artwork inside.  


 

How to Survive Change You Didn't Ask For: Bounce Back, Find Calm in Chaos, and Reinvent Yourself by M. J. Ryan

, 18 Aug 2018

I have read a few books on crisis and change in the last couple of years and this is, despite the modest ratings and small number of reviews on Amazon, the most helpful of them all in you are in the middle of a life and/or career crisis.

Above all, this is a book on how to change your mindset, the one that freezes, depresses and angers you and prevents you from seeing things clearly, from being fully rational, and getting into action. The book offers a set of tools, techniques, attitudes and behaviours to avoid or minimise the fight, flight, or freeze response to increase your ability to adapt and move on. There is also a quest for meaning, to see the silver lining in your crisis, to see it as the step before to something better, to accept change with grace and resilience still being true to who you are. The process of change, as discussed in the book is shown in the figure below: 


GOOD POINTS
> I expect a book on how to overcome crisis to be written by people who have been there and succeeded. However, most of the books out there have never truly experienced it; it is all abstract studies on patterns of behaviour seen on business people and so they re elitist and unrelatable for anybody who is not in those privileged circumstances, which is most o us. On the contrary this books' author has personally gone through hell several times and came out victorious, so I can relate to anything she says and any the advice she gives.

> Ryan's talk is helpful because it makes you feel understood and even cared for. She describes quite precisely what is going on in your life and in your mind even though she doesn't know you or your specific circumstances.

> One of the things that unwanted change brings up is a perennial state of anxiety, fear, shame and despair, a state of mind that is really damaging because it is not rational, it brings up all the personal complexes and fears that we have ever experienced and freeze us on the spot. Learning to understand why that happens and how to stop it, is priceless.

> The book is clearly written and very well structured. As the author herself states, it is based, on her own experience and pragmatism, and on a a vast number of books on brain science, organisational and positive psychology, and spirituality.

>  There is a bit of positive wishful thinking but you didn't get this book to get depress, right?


I LOVED
> All the figures in the book are very simple but extremely clear  to understand Ryan's points.
> The list Top Ten Change Sinkholes.
>  The Seven Truths about Change:
# Change is the one thing you can count on.
# It's not personal.
# Your thinking is not always your friend.
# Change isn't the enemy, fear is.
# There is a predictable emotional cycle of change.
# Your are more resilient than you may think.
# Your future is built on a bedrock that is unchanging.
> The actions of a change master: 1/ Accept change. 2/ Expand your options. 3/ and take action.
> The twenty quick tips for surviving the change you didn't ask at the end of the book.

SOME WEAK POINTS
> There are too many examples of real-life cases.

> There are way too many quotes in the book.

> Some times the main point of three pages is just a repetition of what the title of the section has, so what follows is a bit repetitive and redundant.

> I found Ryan's comments on networking the weakest part of the book. Firstly, introverts' ways of relating aren't even considered. Secondly, she ignores the fact that sometimes your network (personal or professional)  might not have any expertise on how the job market is nowadays. They could be vomiting onto you old adages that aren't helpful at all ('when a door closes another opens', 'you'll find something' or my favourite 'take care'). Your network might not be able to give you financial help even if they wanted, or you could have no family or friends in your country of residence, or they might be too old or sick to attend to you and your crisis. The variables are infinite.  Besides,  Ryan herself says at the beginning of the book that one of the characteristics of modern life is the speed of change, and how different the job market is from the past, meaning 10-20 years ago (not last century) so you should not be asking your current network for any advice, perhaps just for hugs and kisses. Ryan says that it is best to cultivate a varied peer network when you aren't in a crisis, but that is a bit unrealistic and manipulative. Most people, when things are going on OK, won't think  "I need to diversify my group of friends just in case I get into trouble in life and I need to use them" do you see what I am saying? That has put me off in the past, and I guess many genuine people would also be put off for that sort of 'build a network' that is useful to me.

> Ryan asks you, “What's the worst thing that could happen?” Much of the time they realise it's not that big of a deal". I'm all for not being too negative, but hey, really, there are so many examples of normal people who end living in poverty or in the streets nowadays that we cannot ignore it. Normal people who, like you and me, had houses, business, great jobs and families, and would have never thought that the street would be their home.  People who lost their jobs and were renting and cannot rent any more so they sleep on a park. There was item of news on this on the news the other day. Normal people.

> One of the exercises is 'Ask you future self for help", really...?  You are confused, I am confused, we are confused and lost, remember? Ring ring to the future. No answer, sorry. 

KINDLE EDITION
The links to her coaching website are generic, so the specific tools she recommends are no longer accessible at the front page.

Getting Unstuck: A Guide to Discovering Your Next Career Path by Timothy Butler

, 8 Aug 2018

 In Getting Unstuck, Butler --a social scientist, psychotherapist and career counsellor-- provides a Jungian-derived practical career counselling  book to face personal upheaval, dramatic changes and periods of 'impasse' in which you suffer an existential and professional crisis. 

THE FIRST PART is a reflection of how impasse works, what shows up, and why you are stuck. Crisis shows you that your familiar models of being and working aren't working, and force you to stop, ponder, and learn new ways to move on and move in a better direction. You need to accept the impasse and the darkness it brings as a pre-requisite to positive change; sometimes it's the step needed to lead you to a more fulfilling life and career and to psychological growth. You have to let go of  your hold to the past (distorted self-images, ego's love for familiarity, fear, family pressure, personal demons, selves left behind) and learn to recognise the nasty voices that show up when things don't go well (the inner critic), and give up mental models that do not work for you any more. 

THE SECOND PART is an exploration of your personality traits because personality structure relates to job choices and career satisfaction. The system works on three levels: figuring out what your deepest interests are, learning to be guided by your passions, and figuring out what drives you, power, people or achievement. The 100-job exercise is designed to bring up those natural skills, passions, values and characteristics that are personal to you, to move you into the right direction.

THE THIRD PART is a put-all-together sort of chapter to help you in decision making and get unstuck to find a life path and career that are satisfying, exciting and sustainable. 

THINGS I LIKED

>  Butler uses a Jungian approach to crisis (he uses archetypal classification, shadow work, creative imagination, and ancestors/parental projection), mixed with mindfulness, and his own original scientific system created to circumvent your insistence on certain career paths and orientations that don't work for you any longer. The system helps you to unveil hidden dormant talents and passions that are part of who you really are  but you don't normally use or are aware you have.
> Butler asks you to stop and ponder on different questions, to answer them to yourself. Some of  them are really good and will make things clear to you about your conditioning, aims, and whether a job is really good for you or not.  
> The advice and strategies suggested to defeat your inner critic when it appears at your weakest darkest hour is really good. 
> One of the statements that resonated the most with me, and I think one of the most important nuggets to remember from the book, is this:
"Our perceptions—and preconceptions—of talent are too often intertwined with sense of self. “What are you good at?” all too easily slides into “What good are you? Of what value are you?” These are difficult waters to navigate, particularly treacherous at key life transitions when we are most tempted to play judge when assessing our own accomplishments." (locs 1671-1673)
> The archetypal classification in types, which links certain patterns of behaviour, personality traits and interests create excellent psychological-professional profiles, which I personally found very useful and relatable. The archetypes are: the engineer, the number cruncher, the professor, the artist, the coach, the team leader, the boss, the persuader, the action hero, and the organizer.
> Appendix A is a good commented bibliography, something that is rare to find nowadays and, therefore, something I really appreciate.
> Appendix B, contains an important brief reflection about the differences between clinical depression and impasse depressive moods.
> Appendix C has the scoring for the 100-job system, and puts together each profession with one of the archetypal patterns. Table 3-1, "Recognising the Pattern" is also very good and clear to understand how certain thinks link together.

SO SO

The model used to figure out things is based on the 100-profession exercise, on which results other exercises build on. A great an original well-thought system, which I think will be great to work on with Butler as a counsellor, but, as it is presented in the book, it is not always clear, especially the part about working with imagery and dynamic tension.You are supposed to find 10 professions that you might want to do if you were able to and there was no obstacle whatsoever; I had difficulty finding even 10 that I liked; this is so because most of the professions are non-artistic, non-Humanities, business and managerial jobs. Just say, I would love to be a hairdresser, or a tailor, or be a ballerina,  well, these professions aren't mentioned. 
> Introversion/extroversion aren't apparently part of the equation, and the system suffers because two people could have the same life interests,  passions  and talents, but their introspective or extrovert intrinsic nature would lead them through very different paths. Perhaps these two element are part of the system but, as an introvert, I found that it wasn't  that obvious.


NOT SO GOOD

> You have to wait to the end of the book, literally, for Butler to explain what he means by impasse. And when you get the definition, is not that clear, and not what most people picking this book for  thought it was, because, speaking for myself, this was supposed to be a career, job or life crisis book not about an existential crisis.
> The examples from real cases and people go forever, are uninteresting, and mostly based on business people and professionals to whom I could not relate.
> Butler's writing is not always polished and clear, and some paragraphs would have needed of a better editing or editor.
> One of the many examples Butler uses in the book is that of cyclist Lance Armstrong, obviously written before the cheating scandal broke up; this ages the book and is no longer valid as an example for anything.
> In Deep Dive 'Dimensions of Achievement', Butler asks the following question: "Imagine forward to one year from now. At the end of the next twelve months, what would make you feel that you have done 'real work' and made a genuine contribution?". Isn't that called science fiction? Most people picking up this book won't be able to answer this because they would be without a job or a career in a process of transition with no idea on what is happening to them. They are stuck, remember?
> Butler tells you what do with the dynamic tensions we unearth in the 100-profession exercise. And he says "not try to “solve” the tension. Just experience it. Ultimately, you must live the resolution, not think your way through" (locs 2160-2161). What is that supposed to mean, really?

THE BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU IF

> You already know your  talents, weaknesses and vocation and are still stuck. 
> You have lost your job at middle age and the job market is not welcoming or favourable to older fellows or just you even though you have great talents.
> Your gender, age or origin are a hurdle that you have jump over.
> You are professional, but managerial or business jobs aren't your thing.
> You are a Humanities person, not a Science of Business fellow.
> You don't know what to do next but have to pay your bills, so need something more practical because you don't have the time to existential munching over a pina colada.

THE BOOK IS FOR YOU IF 

> You have finished your University studies and are a bit lost, and don't know where to go or are unsure about two or more choices.
> You are gravitating around business and managerial professions.
> You need to figure out how to match your inner traits, personality, skills and passions to find a  satisfying career.
> You have the luxury of spare time, energy and money to stop and re-evaluate your career options, satisfaction, long term projection, etc 

KINDLE EDITION

A very good edition, with no typos on view and hyper-linked notes, but references to tables aren't. Some of the tables in the book, which are included in the Kindle edition, cannot be seen properly in full on android. Although arrows allow to move back and forward through the table, one cannot see it properly, which is a pity. They work well in Kindle for PC.

Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception by Pamela Meyer (2010)

, 26 Jul 2018

"The greatest reward of liespotting—once you can purge your environment of deception, you can rest easy knowing you live and work in a community based on trust." (p. 200). 
This book should have been titled dealing with deception in the workplace because that's exactly what the book is about. The information provided mixes military, government and intelligence agencies' interrogation techniques, scientific and academic data mixed with body language and  micro-facial recognition to create what Meyer calls the BASIC method, a  guide to lie-proof conversations, negotiations, and interviews. She claims that the techniques provided in the book  can improve detection ability by 25% to 50%. 

The BASIC system is a  way to structuring a conversation to get the truth out; the acronym stands for:
B = Baseline behaviour, examining an individual's current behaviour to what s/he normally does, says or behaves to compare it with what s/he does, says or behaves while being interviewed, interrogated or simply questioned about an issue of concern.  
A = Ask open-ended questions.
S = Study the Clusters of behaviour. 
I = Intuit the gaps, or what is not being said.
C - Confirm. 

The book is structured in two parts, the first being the general basis to detect deception trough verbal and non-verbal clues, which is applicable to any facet of our life. To me, as a non-business person, this is the most useful and entertaining part of the book.

The second part is  about creating healthy behaviour and environments in the workplace by implementing structures and polices that promote honesty and trustworthiness, and effortlessly weed out deception, liars and double-faced people who play everybody to get power or money. This is very much business related. If you are a business person, head of a department, business, or corporation, will certainly find the strategies, advice and polices recommended in the book fantastic, sane and sound, it that can be said. Specially good are the items of advice on business negotiation and job interviews, which are two of the main areas where deception occurs.

Appendix I is a sort of cheat-sheet about the main points presented in the first part of the book. I truly love it because it is useful and straight to the point.  


Appendix II is a test to check if our lie spotting skills are tuned; the solution to the questions are in the author's book website.

General value
The book is very good, well written, and clear to understand. Meyer is a very articulate writer and does a great job at conveying her message in away that is entertaining, informative and seriously usable, with plenty of specific information about how to spot deception, and how to deal with it. 

Liespotting tips are spread throughout the book as short reminders of important points to remember, therefore, very helpful. 

Besides, photos  are included to exemplify facial authentic and fake expressions; nothing like a photo to explain this sort of information.

There are many real-life examples described in the book, but I thought they were useful. 

Questions posed and answered
> Why do we have a deception epidemic in our culture?
> Do we lie more nowadays than in the past? 
> Why videoconferencing isn't the solution to deciding on new business ventures?
> Why old tools and devices do not work?
> Why being punctual is important?
> Which verbal and non verbal clues show deception? and how do you mentally process them? 

Ah? Eh? What? 
> Meyer says that pupil dilation can be an indication of deception and arousal, but an addict to sex would also have pupils dilated, right? A person occasionally using substances would have their pupils dilated, no? Does this automatically turn them into deceptive people at the workplace? Just asking!
> Some of the verbal clues that Meyer mention as signalling deception are actually things that I would say and do, honestly and sincerely, to voice my innocence!

Kindle edition
The kindle rendering is well done, with hyper-linked notes. However, one of the links in the book does not work, the one directing to Artanatomy; however, the site is still up, just with another URL.

Get the Truth by Philip Houston, Michael Floyd and Susan Carnicero

, 13 Jul 2018

Unlike Spy the Lie, by the same authors, Get the Truth is not as much as how to spot a lie but what and how to do to extract the truth from the person who is lying and might want or not want to confess. Or in any interpersonal exchange where two sides have conflicting agendas. It’s about the process of exerting influence to elicit truthful information from a person who has a reason to want to withhold it.

This book is not a learn-how sort of book as much as see-how-we-do-it sort of book. However, readers will learn many things about interviewing, interrogation and negotiation because of the author's long years of expertise doing what they do and, at this stage, everything they do it appears natural, genuine and easy.

The book per se finishes about half way.

The first appendix by Peter Romary, has 13 short chapters, which elaborate on the principles on which the authors' system relies, which can be applied to everyday life. Those principles of persuasion were revealed long ago by Cialdini's classic book on influence and persuasion, mostly based on how to exploit human biases to get what we want: optimism bias, confirmation bias, the power of liking somebody and wanting to be liked, the consistency bias, the power of sharing experiences and bonding, the principle of reciprocity, among others. If you have read the classic by Ciadini, you will find that what Romary says is basically Cialdini applied to specific contexts. If you have never heard or read Cialdini's classic, this is a great approach to the principles on which persuasion, the effective one, feeds. In any way, they are useful because sometimes those principles can be used against us or we can be blind-sided by them. This appendix also includes a discussion of the five states of successful negotiation, which I found really helpful for daily life, with great advice about being fair, non-confrontational, respectful and sincere. It also advises on how to deal with the cognitive dissonance of criminals and untruthful people by keeping them in short-thinking mode, and using rationalisation, minimalisation and socialisation, and by setting a pace that is slow but steady with non-coercive questions, then the other person will 'cross the bridge' to your side when they are ready; not being judgemental, being kind and friendly, speaking calmly. Understanding what motivates one person, most wants or fears, make the other person feel comfortable and not judged, genuinely consider all viewpoints and don't be a win-at-all-costs person. 

  By taking a noncoercive, ethical approach, we stand a much better chance of getting the truth. And we’re far better equipped to create lasting relationships that can help us attain our personal and professional goals. (p. 213).

The second appendix, also by Romary, is just a reminder of how important is preparation and practice to get good at getting the truth. You need to understand the background (ideological, religious, political) of the person you are interrogating, or negotiating with. Romary mentions where to get information about anybody, both in public and private records and online media. Most of what he says is simplistic and nothing you don't already know, and nothing that deserves an appendix.

The third appendix is a transcript of the actual interview with O.J. Simpson, whose interrogation is mentioned and used throughout the book to exemplify good and bad interrogation techniques.


BIG YAIS
A good summary of some of the points discussed in the book can be found in the boxed summary 'lessons we have learned', pp. 144-148.

One of the main points that the authors make is that to get a confession you don't need to be coercitive, aggressive, violent or use torture, because that would hardly get you the truth. Most of chapter 13, the elefant in the room, is full of great sound advise and  makes great points on why does not work, and where do you draw the line.

The book also has a glossary and an subject index, which, to my delight, is hyperlinked.

DOWNSIDES
If you have read Spy the Lie, you will find that some of the examples, real-life cases, described there are also repeated here. They are lovely to read, but I would have appreciated them bringing something new to the table. 

Although the authors advise being genuine and sincere, they advise something I consider unethical. For example,

But coming across as sincere is absolutely essential, and accomplishing that sometimes forces you to lie, especially when feeling any sense of genuine sympathy is simply impossible. (p. 46).
Also, in the first appendix, Romary says : 
Conveying a fictitious account of some dimension of your background or experience, in order to demonstrate sincerity and empathy in an elicitation situation, can be an effective means of creating a bond that will encourage a person to reveal the truthful information you’re seeking. (p. 199).

Spy the Lie: How to spot deception the CIA Way, by Philip Houston, Mike Floyd & Susan Carnicero (2012)

, 30 May 2018

"There is no such thing as a human lie detector"  (p. 14).

I cannot believe that a book that is so packed with information is also one of the most entertaining books I've read lately.

Three ex-CIA agents, now working privately with information and methods that were unclassified in 1996 (and so they can be taught and shared) spill the beans on the system they apply to detect lies. This method, called L-Square Mode System, works by observing what 'the suspect' says, does and reacts, and by learning to make the right kind of questions to spot deceiving behaviour. It all comes down to body language, congruency in speech and behaviour within the subject's own idiosyncrasy. It also come down to being aware of our self-defeating beliefs and limitations  to spot a lie: the belief that people will not lie to us, and are innocent until proved  guilty, the reliance on behavioural myths, the complexity of communication, our own biases, the 'global' influence, and how smart we think we are.

The system relies on getting clusters of deceiving information, not just individual clues. However, one of the most surprising statements in their method to me is that if we can identify the first deceiving behaviour (verbal or non-verbal) in the first 5 seconds (yes, seconds!) we can reasonable conclude that that behaviour is directly linked with the stimulus. (p. 31). And, of course, the higher the number of deceiving behaviours exhibited by a person, the most likelihood of deception.

One of the most important things to keep in mind when applying this system is that its virtue relies on its simplicity, that deceiving clues do not always equal deceit or a lie, that the system is not bullet-proof, that the more we practise the better we get at it, and part of the success depends on obtaining information in a non-confrontational non-judgemental non-aggressive way. The authors have successfully applied this system for years, and once we go through the book and see some of their examples (especially the long transcript and examination in appendix 2), you will notice that you can, too, start spotting deceiving behaviour.


The book has a glossary with simple explanations of all the specialised terms the authors use throughout this work. I always appreciate the effort when electronic books have the index properly hyperlinked, which is the case here.

The main downside of the book is that is not particularly didactic if you want a step-by+step sort of book. Some of the things that prevent the book from being more user- friendly are:
> I usually love end of chapters' summaries or key points, as they are really useful bits to go back when one wants to re-read a book. Oddly enough, some of those summaries are placed in the middle of a page, interrupting the narration and some of them not directly related to what's immediately said.
> The amount of information and types of questions they offer can be complicated because they are called in a certain way, and because they all involve different and dynamic approaches that vary depending on how the subject of interest reacts. Why not creating a cheat-sheet scheme to have it at hand?
> I would have loved a section with exercises for us to practise, with hidden solutions at the end of the book. Just a suggestion!
> Some of the statements about body language are familiar to me, but it would have been really useful having some figures or photos with some of those mentioned in the book.

Overall this a fascinating book that left me wanting to know more and dig deeper. I find it very useful to unleash your inner Matahari or inner Bond, get a gist of the approach to interrogation that Intelligence and law-enforcement agencies use, and most importantly, provides readers with tools to use it with family, friends and co-workers to obtain true information or spot deceiving behaviour.

How To Keep People From Pushing Your Buttons by Albert Ellis & Arthur Lange (2017)

, 17 Oct 2017

This is a very enjoyable, practical and easy to read  book that gets to the core of what pushing a button is, why our buttons are pushed, and who pushes them. Although the authors are psychologists, and some of the exercises and reflections presented here use Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, there is no theoretical mumbo-jumbo. The authors' analytical and didactic presentation makes it easy for readers to recognise what pushes our buttons and the ways to think and act when they are pushed so we don't overreact.

The core of the book is that nobody or nothing pushes our buttons, we do that ourselves, so we have to and can learn not to push them by changing our thinking and the way we react to what happens to us, or rather, by changing our thinking so our feelings are not irritated or numbed and we don't overreact or downplay what happens to us.

The main reasons why our buttons are pushed are five ways of being or feeling (1/ being excessively anxious or worried, 2/ being angry or defensive, 3/ being depressed or burnout, 4/ feeling guilty and 5/ over-reactive self-defeating behaviour) and three ways of screwball thinking (1/ catastrophising or awfulising, 2/ 'shoulding' or blaming ourselves or others, and 3/ excusing or denying  that we have a reaction when something pushes our buttons). If we control our thinking, our feelings will be under control, and we won't blow out any situation. We cannot control those people or situations that push our buttons, but we can control our reactions and the way we see, think and feel about them. And the best way to think in these situations is what the authors call 'realistic thinking', which is based on stating what we would like, want or prefer, it recognises the frustration or irritation that a given person or situation has on us, but enables us to have healthy legitimate feelings without overreacting.

Another core premise of the book is that there aren't many things that happen to us or people say or do to us that are really that awful, dramatic, damaging or disrupting for us to get upset when we think about them rationally. Throughout the book, there is a constant reminder that, if we take a step back and see things for what they are, those same people and situations won't have the same impact on us.

One of the things that I could relate the most are the ten beliefs that we use to let people and situations push our buttons, the first four being the most common. I certainly found my button-pushers reflected here. These beliefs are:  1/ worrying too much about what other people think of us. 2/ Fear of failure or of being wrong and unable to stand any criticism. 3/ Frustration intolerance, or the idea that we should always be treated fairly, even though we know that the world is unfair. 4/ The need to blame someone if any of the first three beliefs happen. 5/ The belief that worrying obsessively about something or someone will help to situations to turn out better. 6/ The belief that there is a perfect solution for every problem, and that the solution can be found immediately. 7/ The wish to avoid difficult situations and responsibilities instead of facing them. 8/ The belief that if we avoid being seriously involved in anything we will be happy or happier. 9/ Blaming the past for anything bad that happens to us in the present. 10/ The wish that bad people and things shouldn't exist, but they do and always disturb and annoy us.  

The main virtue of the book is that provides readers with a four-step process that will allow us to stop, reflect and react differently, still recognising those things that irritate and annoy us, but without over-blowing any situation. This process can be applied to any person or situation that pushes our buttons, in our personal or work relationships or in the myriad situations in which we have to deal with other people. The four steps not to have your buttons pushed (by you!) are: 1/ Ask yourself how you are dysfunctionaly feeling and acting in a given situation right now. 2/ Ask yourself what you are irrationally thinking about a) yourself b) the others in this situation c) the situation itself, to make yourself upset. 3/ Ask yourself how you can challenge and dispute your irrational thinking. And finally, 4/ ask yourself what realistic preferences you can substitute for your irrational thinking by starting by saying things like, I want, I'd Like, I'd prefer, It would be great if, I regret, I'm disappointed, I'm committed to, It's frustrating, etc. The secret is to use these steps over and over again until they become ingrained in our way of dealing with button pushers. Nobody is perfect at this kind of self-control, so the goal is to reduce our overreactions still being true to our feelings, and react less often and less intensely.

DOWNSIDE
The main thing that one can criticise this book for is for the unnecessary wordiness and an endless number of examples showing how to go through the four-step process. I confess, that it gets things sealed on your brain, because repetition really works, but so many examples are also boring and unnecessary. If you want to get a good summary of the book read the last chapter and will have everything perfectly summarised in a few words, and I think a booklet with the main points of the book might have been as successful in conveying the message as the whole book does. 
MIND
This is an updated version of the book of the edition of 1995.

TYPO
p. 57 appreicate
.

Sixth Sense: Unlocking Your Ultimate Mind Power by Laurie Nadel PhD (2006)

, 1 Jan 2017

 Laurie Nadel, a psychoanalyst pioneer in the mind-body relation and intuition, wrote this book in 1990, but it feels as relevant, fresh and serious in year 2017 as it was then. The edition I am reviewing is the re-edition of 2006 in audible format.

Sixth Sense is structured in four parts. The first part tries to define intuition and discusses the difference between intuitive knowing with precedent and without precedent.

The second part offers many examples on how intuition enhances our life, problem solving, health recovery, learning and creativity, and what to do to favour intuition.

The third part discusses how different parts of the brain relate to different parts of our being, and how they manifest in our daily behaviour and thinking and the way that intuition works. There is a strong focus on letting readers recognise how intuition speaks to them, specifically, with many exercises to facility just that.

The fourth part examines the cutting edge of the science of intuition and Consciousness, and discusses at length Remote Viewing, Psychotronics, intuitive consensus, some of the experiments carried out by the Institute of Noetic Sciences among other things.

The epilogue or appendix, added in 2006, updates some of the things said in the first edition. 

The title of the book is somewhat deceptive because its main aim is not just to help us recognise and develop our intuition, but also to integrate all the parts of our brain and facilitate intuition so that logical thinking and intuition get integrated in our daily lives in an organic way.

Core Premises of the Book

We have multiple intelligences as our brain is structured in different sections, all of which contribute to generating knowledge. Our brain is like a triptych: the reptilian brain creates patterns, habits, routines and instinctive behaviour as well as our sense of territory and safety. The limbic system is where all the emotions come from. The neocortex is divided into left and right hemisphere or brains, the right part being devoted to creativity and intuition, and the left to logical and analytical thinking. Intuitive and rational thought are both natural abilities and functions of the brain, they work together (but in different ways) to provide us with different types of knowledge if we let them both speak to us and if we develop both of them. Intuition connects different parts of the brain, it is scientifically measurable, it is custom-made (i.e. each person experiences intuition in different ways), and is part of us, even if we don't believe it exists or is helpful or produces knowledge. Some people are naturally more intuitive than others, but we can all develop our intuition. We should strive to use all capabilities of the brain instead of doing what has happened until now in our culture, i.e. that one part is good and the other is useless or nonsensical. 

Yummy Nuggets

> Our brain is like a computer screen with four open windows and software devoted to different tasks depending on what we need to do. We switch from window to window depending on what we are working on. What separates a normal person from a genius is the ability to move across all the windows/parts of the screen/brain with easiness, not our IQ.
> First impressions are gut feelings too.
> People with similar professions tend to have similar brain profiles.
> It is important to let a child know that being intuitive or intuition are all right, that they aren't weirdos just because they are specially intuitive. Intuition, after all, is another life skill. 
> The main element to favour our intuitive process when we are stuck is basically physical and/or and relaxation activities.
> The main characteristics or qualities that an intuitive person has vary from person to person. To develop your intuition we need to become aware of which elements are specific to us, in which forms and parts of the body or the mind our intuition shows up. Some of the qualities associated with intuitive people are curiosity, being open to new experiences, willing to experiment new things, being adventurous and decisive, acting on what we know without knowing, but there are many others. Nadel provides us with a long list of qualities, a data-bank, from us to go through and choose from, because some qualities will resonate more than others with us, and they are the way we experience intuition individually.
> Our world is heavily sided on the use and development of left brain, when it should be balanced in the use of both parts of the neocortex.
> There is a direct correlation between the change in the functioning of the nostrils and the changes in the functioning of the brain,  between the side on which we sleep and changes in the activity of our brain. That is scientifically proven. It blew me away!
> There are ways for us to recognise which parts of our behaviour and daily life show different parts of our brain at work: the reptilian brain, the limbic system and the neocortex. Discovering my reptilian me gave me great pleasure!
>  Learning can be favoured and increased by the use of both logic and intuition.
> The scientific study of Consciousness is directly related to that of intuition, as intuition is part of consciousness.
> The mind is not limited to the four dimensions of space-time, that's why the mind is capable of knowing things that the brain's sensory system does not pick up. Spice and time are bounded by our ability to conceptualise them but, as the right neocortex does not measure space and time, it isn't impossible that our brain's intuitive abilities can function outside the space-time continuum that only our left neocortex perceives. That would explain, for example, premonitory dreams or premonitions in general. Uber-cool.

The Exercises

There is a good number of exercises in this book, but chapter 13 (17 in the audible format) is totally devoted to exercises and journaling. I found the exercises very good, easy to do on our own, and many of them new to me. Many of the exercises try to get you to connect different parts of the brain to intuition, therefore, they are not "divinatory" in nature. Herewith a list of some of the exercises provided in the book: ➞ Inner resource exercise. ➞ Visualise yourself in the future exercise. ➞ Take a picture of your imagination exercise. ➞ The room of your mind exercise. ➞ The switch exercise. ➞  Find your reptilian energy exercise. ➞ Your sanctuary exercise. ➞ Love yourself exercise. ➞ The voice of reason exercise. ➞ The voice of intuition exercise. ➞ Intuition store exercise.  ➞ "What I am" exercise. ➞ "I trust myself because..." exercise. ➞ "Love your reptilian self and have a reptilian day" exercise. ➞ Locating a lost object using your reptilian intelligence exercise. ➞ Your limbic-emotional brain exercise. ➞ Make your limbic music library exercise. ➞ I 'want' exercise. ➞ Associational  word exercise , ➞ Decision making exercise. ➞ Visualise intuition exercise. ➞ Intuition hall of fame exercise, ➞ Mind-mapping. ➞ Make your treasure map aka vision board.

So-so

Something I didn't like in the book was the number of examples given, especially in the first and second part. Too many for my taste and not always needed. I would have rather devoted that space to exercises or to discuss some other things at length. 

Research on the brain and Consciousness has developed greatly since the book was first written. Even the addenda in the 2006 edition falls short. Nowadays, scientists seem not to be so focused on the differences between right-left brain, and some people even call it a myth. See this article, for example. 

The Audible Version

I read this book in audible version because it is not available in Kindle format. I try to avoid academic and scientific books on Audible in general, and especially if they aren't narrated by professors or teachers, who have a clear understanding of how their energy, enthusiasm and voice inflections help to convey a given message, not matter how complex it is. I have mixed feelings about the narrator David Stifel, an actor by trade. On one hand he has a very clear diction, performing abilities, so he can switch voices and play different people. He is also very good at reading in a way that sounds as if he was the author, and as if he was speaking not reading a book. That is great. I also like the tone of his voice, which is very soothing. I found him especially good when reading the footnotes, that is a lot of talent you need so make something as boring sound interesting and clear, if you want to take some notes. Perhaps the pace and energy weren't there for me, and the inflections of the voice not well marked, so I felt sleepy quite often despite the book being quite interesting.  I think the narrator would be great for fiction, for academic or scientific reading he is just all right.

In Short

This is a very good helpful book to understand intuition. One of the best I have read. The book will please those people, like me, who want to approach intuition with an open mind but without having to swallow tons of New Age religious spiritual mumbo-jumbo to explain something that is really natural and devoid of whohas. I would recommend getting the hard copy, to benefit from the figures, consult the notes, and bookmark the exercises; although you can bookmark the text in Audible,  their bookmarking system is not as good as one might wish. The book is certainly not up to date with the latest research on brain and consciousness. This is year 2017, the book was written at the beginning of the 1990s, and science and research haven evolved and improved, and the study of the brain has given us amazing surprises. Yet, if your interest is intuition, the book is still very good. If your interest is the functioning of the brain in general, perhaps not as much.   

Reading the Comments: Likers, Haters, and Manipulators at the Bottom of the Web by Joseph M. Reagle Jr. (2015)

, 27 Jun 2016

"Reading the Comments" is an exploration of online comments, of their nature, their authors, what is good, bad and funny about them. Reagle shows how comments inform (reviews), serve to improve your own works or projects (via feedback), can be manipulative and serve to alienate people (through abuse and hatred), and shape how we see the world and ourselves (via quantification and social comparison). Reagle uses a humongous amount of data, using the main platforms generating comments:Amazon, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, fiction writers communities, and personal blogs.
The book poses and answers intriguing questions with a more or less degree of success:
> Why do people like disclosing info about themselves in their comments?
> Is society more narcissist today as a result of the Internet?
> Is anonymity the mother of all problems in abusive comments?
> Is fakery the exception or the norm in review?
> Who is writing false reviews and why? And what is being done to counteract it?
> Who are those creating sock-puppet accounts?
> Why do review sites benefit from your comments?
> How do Facebook and Google+ use your profile and contact list every time you rate a product?
> What is the difference between a comment and a review?
> What is the key to providing a good feedback that is useful to the author without hurting their feelings?
> Is a bullied person bullying a person as bully as the bully?
> Can good communities, in self-defence, morph into what they try to avoid?
> Do the gazillion comments processed during the day affect our ability to concentrate and our well-being?
> Is the pervasive rating and ranking of people and services dehumanising?

The book is divided in seven chapters:
1/ Comment, offers a contextualisation of comment, of what makes people comment, interact or to look for another place.
2/  Informed, is an introduction to reviews, ratings, unboxing videos and other informative commentary on the web.
3/Manipulation, is about the use of fake reviews and online fakery in general.These manipulators are fakers (those who deceptively praise their own works or pillory others), makers (those who do that for a fee), and the takers (those who avail themselves of such services).
4/ Improvement, deals with feedback: peer feedback, feedback in formal writing communities, and feedback in communities where the line between feedback and collaboration blurs.
5/ Alienated, describes online trolls and haters, bully battles and  misogyny, and tries to frame this "culture" with what we know about the effects of anonymity, deindividuation and depersonalization.
6/ Shaped, poses the question of how this infinite stream of information, status updates, and photos affects self-esteem and wellbeing and our view of ourselves.
7/ Bemused, focuses on the puzzling aspect of commenting as comments can be slapdash, confusing, amusing, revealing, and weird.

 I found this statement one of the most interesting in the book:
All forms of writing that have gone before are present on the Web— and at a very large scale. These types of comment existed before the twenty-first century, but never were they available in such great numbers or were they as easily accessible as they are today.
I love the historical contextualisation of commenting, and to learn that many attitudes we find online nowadays were very much alive in the past, and that well-known writers, philosophers and artists of the past were involved in actions or activities that are today found online. I found really good the section on feedback and the section on trolls very exhaustively informative. When you provide with historical antecedents for online behaviour that are rooted in morphed off-line behaviour, we can have a mini-epiphany because then, some behaviour and attitudes are not only contextualised but can be tackled in different ways. Reagle's analysis on quantification or rating, which are more relevant by the day in our times. was also really good.

I agree with Reagle about the search for intimate serendipity being one of the reasons why some people aren't in big social sites or social networks in general, they join when they are small and quit then when they become too big, too popular or the first scum appears, or they don't allow comments on their personal sites. That is my case, and that is great putting a name to what I do.

I really loved some of the comic strips from The Geek & Poke, a German nerdy comic-strip, reproduced in the book, which are really relevant for some of the matters discussed in it. I especially feel connected to the the one below, but this is precisely one of the comments I get most often from people I don´t know or have interaction with me, and the other one, that "the free gift" (above) use preached by corporations, major social networks and dot com start-up companies and geeks.


Reagle clearly mentions at the beginning that the book isn't about the future of online sites or of commenting online. This being the case, one of the most interesting and controversial aspects of commenting is hurdled over, which is very disappointing to me. In that regard, the book scratches the top layers of the subject, leaving many of the issues associated to commenting just described. Which is not bad if you want a comprehensive analysis of the subject without digging down.

Although I enjoyed the book, Reading the Comments is a bit a sum-up of things and research found in other works, and Reagle  does not always expresses his opinion on important matters; for example, how would he tackle some of the problems he describes? However, he does give his honest opinion other times, as when he says that he doesn't think anonymity is the problem for the state of the online world. In fact, some of the most abusive people I've come across online had their real photo and name displayed. I always appreciate solutions, or at least proposals on how to change things online, especially when an expert is writing. Reagle is, after all, an academic, an expert on communication and on the Internet so I expected more prognosis, diagnosis or  even personal involvement.

The book reads well as a course for students, where his students would learn about things and the teacher wouldn't always need to express his views upfront unless questioned. That is OK for a course, I expected more on bleeding matters: like sexist misogynist comments, the level of verbal aggression thriving online, why does trolling occur beyond those groups who made an entertaining of doing so? In that regard I found Sarah Jeon's book necessary to read after this, because she digs on the subject and provides readers with personal answers and solutions on how to turn things around. Both books complement each other quite well.

The book is wonderfully edited. I didn't notice any typo, the reference system and endnoting are flawless, something that, as a reader, I always appreciate.There is always a lot of work to get to that point, and you cannot take it for granted. I think the first chapter should be called Introduction, because that is what it is, and where the author mentions what he is going to do and describes the subjects discussed in each chapter.

The rendering for Kindle is excellent except for the index at the back, which isn't linked for Kindle, therefore, worthless. I always feel cheated when this happens.

IN SHORT
The book reads really well, is engaging, entertaining and digs on many aspects of the web that aren't well known to people who don't live on or research the Internet. Three and half stars rounding to 4. That is why the five-star-rating system sucks...