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"Intimacy. Trusting Oneself and the Other" by Osho
, 4 Oct 2014
Osho
was an amazing philosopher and spiritual guru, whose life and death
were surrounded by controversy - the good and the bad. Osho abhorred of
the political establishment, herd mentality in social behaviour, and of
all established religions, despite him being a very spiritual person.
His teachings are based on both Western and Eastern spiritual and lay
Philosophy. He is very "Nietzschean" in a way, specially in his aim to
create a new kind of human being, an evolved version, that is more tuned
with its true nature and with the Universe, and that does not need of
religion just of spirituality and ethical integrity. Osho's teachings
and philosophy, evident in Intimacy, are full of irreverence,
sensitiveness, craziness, paradoxes, common sense and profound wisdom.
Intimacy
is not a book about physical intimacy, but a book about emotional
intimacy. The book is structured, basically, in chapters that discuss
those elements that prevent you from becoming truly intimate with
somebody else (the habit of reaction, being stuck on security,
shadow-boxing, and being attached to false values), and those that will
help you to become intimate (learn to relate without having a
relationship, be true to yourself, listen to and accept yourself, trust
yourself, learn to be vulnerable, be "selfish", learn the language of
silence, and meditate), plus an introduction on what Intimacy is and is
not, and a final section devoted to Q&A.
The
language of the
book is very simple and easy to understand, with a constant use of
parables and metaphors. Osho was a lecturer and teacher after all, and
his writing is a direct reflection of that, as this book, as others are a
transcription of public speeches given by him. On the other hand, he is
not a native English, so his English is straight forward and simple,
and not the usual cryptic philosophical dry jargon that can drive you
nuts.
Intimacy
is full of wisdom, good advice and food for thought, which will
resonate with you whether you are in a relationship or not, looking for
one or not, you are a very social person or a reserved one. Intimacy
will especially speak to you if you aren't a traditional person in the
way you approach society, family, religion, gender roles and the world
in general, but you need of help to
clear your mind in
periods of emotional distress or confusion, and when you need a wise
adviser who is not at hand, or the advice you get doesn't provide you
with any answers.
A few things I would like to criticise about Intimacy, which, however, do not rest value to a book that is stupendous:
> Osho seems to be carried out by his own discourse, and he becomes repetitive and loopy in many occasions. The book would have needed of a good editor to weed out its unnecessary wordiness and to clean up typos and misspellings in the transcription of the speeches used as a bases for the book.
> Osho equals self-love with selfishness. Although some of his arguments are terrific and this equation is not straightforward, it is a dangerous association. I wonder whether the use of the word selfish/ness is the result of a linguistic calque from an Hindu word with a different meaning. Still, the identification doesn't work for me. I agree that self-love is a catalyst of change, that you cannot give that you don't have, and that you have to give voluntarily without restrictions. Put your mask first and then help others then (as they say on the safety instructions on a plane) is one thing. And put your mask and help others if you want or feel like it, is a very different one. Being selfish and self-centred, even if it is not in a narcissist way, is a bit unnatural, to me. Sharing is impossible if one is self-centred and selfish.
> Osho's criticism of self-improvement and goal setting. Be content with the present, simple be, do not think about the future and how to change it, do not waste your time on anything that is not this very moment, you are perfect and do not need of any improvement. Be happy being. I believe that living the present and being present are wonderful things, and also that setting goals to be socially praised or get fame is a senseless thing to do. I also believe that setting goals and self-improvement are necessary, and a way of getting rid of the limitations and conditioning that our time, society, family, gender or past negative experiences put on our shoulders. I also believe that self-improvement is done for our own sake, not for the public. My own life experience contradicts Osho's teachings in this regard. If I had accepted the limitations that my family's social class, level of education and gender expectations had on me, I would have never become an individual, and I would have never become me - the "I" I am now, the "I" so many people said that I would never become or was. If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and fight harder my present to achieve more things for my own sake, set more goals. Self-improvement, the way I understand it, is not a way of correcting an imperfect self; it is a way of making the perfect self you have shine through a heavy cast of stinky crap that we we all carry on our shoulders.
A few things I would like to criticise about Intimacy, which, however, do not rest value to a book that is stupendous:
> Osho seems to be carried out by his own discourse, and he becomes repetitive and loopy in many occasions. The book would have needed of a good editor to weed out its unnecessary wordiness and to clean up typos and misspellings in the transcription of the speeches used as a bases for the book.
> Osho equals self-love with selfishness. Although some of his arguments are terrific and this equation is not straightforward, it is a dangerous association. I wonder whether the use of the word selfish/ness is the result of a linguistic calque from an Hindu word with a different meaning. Still, the identification doesn't work for me. I agree that self-love is a catalyst of change, that you cannot give that you don't have, and that you have to give voluntarily without restrictions. Put your mask first and then help others then (as they say on the safety instructions on a plane) is one thing. And put your mask and help others if you want or feel like it, is a very different one. Being selfish and self-centred, even if it is not in a narcissist way, is a bit unnatural, to me. Sharing is impossible if one is self-centred and selfish.
> Osho's criticism of self-improvement and goal setting. Be content with the present, simple be, do not think about the future and how to change it, do not waste your time on anything that is not this very moment, you are perfect and do not need of any improvement. Be happy being. I believe that living the present and being present are wonderful things, and also that setting goals to be socially praised or get fame is a senseless thing to do. I also believe that setting goals and self-improvement are necessary, and a way of getting rid of the limitations and conditioning that our time, society, family, gender or past negative experiences put on our shoulders. I also believe that self-improvement is done for our own sake, not for the public. My own life experience contradicts Osho's teachings in this regard. If I had accepted the limitations that my family's social class, level of education and gender expectations had on me, I would have never become an individual, and I would have never become me - the "I" I am now, the "I" so many people said that I would never become or was. If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and fight harder my present to achieve more things for my own sake, set more goals. Self-improvement, the way I understand it, is not a way of correcting an imperfect self; it is a way of making the perfect self you have shine through a heavy cast of stinky crap that we we all carry on our shoulders.
Intimacy is a book that speaks to me at so many levels that I felt that Osho had written it thinking specifically about me. I don't agree with everything Osho says, and I had to separate the chaff from the grain, let in certain things and keep a critical approach to others while reading it. However, I found comfort in Osho's words of wisdom and I was in a continuous state of wow while reading it.
I
would not recommend this book, or any of Osho's, to anybody who is very
traditional in values and way of living, or anybody who is a very
religious person (meaning, very attached to a certain Church or religion
with fixed views on God and the spirit). You've been warned. If you do,
and become offended, you are the only one to blame.
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