Teo Degas' Books & Decks

This is a very short but very useful and practical book on what manipulation is, how manipulators act and what you can do about it. It is written by an experienced psychotherapist in a very simple language, really easy to understand for the lay reader. Unlike so many other authors, he does not mix apples with bananas (so to speak) and puts in the same basket things like how to influence people and manipulative behaviour, overt manipulation and covert manipulation (the latter mostly hidden and the worst of all kinds of manipulation).

The first part of the is a categorization of what manipulation in general is, covert aggression specifically, and the different types of manipulative people you can find. He uses long study real-life cases that show how these people operate. The second part is the practical one, and shows how manipulators operate practically, which sort of techniques and behaviour they show, which buttons of yours they push, and what you can do about it. This part is very well organized, very sound, and useful.

Some of the main takes from the book, among others, are:

> Many of these manipulators do not have any trauma background or anything that justifies their actions. They are nasty per se.

> Covert aggression is an attack, always hidden, never explicit, and has a hidden agenda. The agenda is using you the more the better. All covert aggression is active, intentional and aggressive in its nature.

> Manipulators come in all shapes, ages, social status, civil status, gender and religious beliefs.

> Most covert-aggressive people have a character disturbance, wear a social mask, and don't want to change.

> You cannot and must not try to understand why these people operate the way they do. A psychotherapist should be doing that. You have to take care of yourself, put yourself and escape as fast and as soon as you see them manipulating.

> Learn which are your weakest points in your character, because these are the buttons they will push you to use you.

The main downside of the book, to me, is the fact that the two parts of the same are quite unbalanced, with the descriptive part occupying most of the book. I think most readers would come to this book looking for tools to use, not for a description of people who they are probably already found. Although, I agree with many of the things Simon says in the epilogue, I consider it unnecessary, a big preachy, and does not help the reader to get more "juice" from the book. Finally, I missed among the ways of identifying manipulators more tools on the language they use, which makes easier to spot them before, during and after you get involved with them.

This is a good read, like a basic introduction to the subject. I wanted more!

This is a delightful collection of Bhutanese Himalayan folk stories compiled and translated into English. The stories share the magic with Brother Grimm's compilations of European folk tales, but come from a land, culture and ways of living that are very different. They also share the magic feeling, the moral value, the behavioural advice, and the sense of awe with which these folk tales are embedded. These Bhutanese stories have a mix of pre-Buddhist and Buddhist elements that make them fascinating from an anthropological point of view. I was surprised at the role of women in these tales, so very powerful and active.

All the stories are extremely charming, but I especially liked Why Cats bury their stools, the Fall of three friends, the Cuckoo and the pigeon and the Yeti tales.

If you have children, you might like adding this collection of fables to their daily or bed readings because they will introduce them into new magic realms, to which they are not exposed to in their school and mainstream animated movies, and from which they can learn many things. Many of these tales are not for little children, and need of parental supervision.

I got this book before my trip to Bhutan, and reading the stories in the area of origin made them even more magical.

I would have loved seeing each story accompanied by an illustration.

Gladwell has the rare virtue of writing about mundane things with easiness, a sense of entertainment, but with an inquisitive mind. Characters, situations or historical episodes that would pass unnoticed to most of us, don't pass unnoticed to Gladwell, who is able to see underneath the surface, connect the dots, and look at things in revealing thoughtful ways.

The collection of articles in this book (originally published in the New York times) are a perfect example of this. There a few articles on business-related subjects, but I especially loved the articles related to women, especially the ones on hair dying in Post-War America, the one on the birth control pill, and the one on mammography imaging, which are simply terrific.

This is one of those books that reads well when travelling - it feeds your mind without feeling you full or heavy.

Dreaming Metaphysical is a book for you if you are a serious dream worker, especially if you are into archetypal dreamwork because Bregman is the founder of this field. If you are not interested in dream work but in Metaphysics, the book will give you food for thought as well because it departs from philosophical principles that might be new to you.

Introvert Power second edition is a very enjoyable read, and an encouraging book for introverts. It helps introverts to feel OK about being introvert, to recognize themselves as such, act in "hot" situations with extroverts, and teach extroverts how we operate. The book is, in part, a bit of a memoir as the author comments how she deals with introversion in her private life.

The book explains things easily and clearly, and kills many myths and assumptions about introversion that have been thriving in the media and in the academia for decades despite their lack of accuracy.

Some of the points the author makes are terrific:

> Introversion is not a flaw, a mental disturbance or an aberration of the character, but a way of being and relating that is intrinsically natural and healthy but different from extroversion.

> Introverts are almost half of the population, not a weird minority.

> The dominant culture in a given country affects the way introverts express and relate in general.

> Shyness and introversion are two very different things.

> Not all introverts are the same. There are the Socially Accessible and the Dark Hidders. (Actually, I think there are the Chameleon Introverts, which go from SS to DH depending on the circumstances, just my personal contribution).

> Seeking silence, solitude and alone time are all empowering means for an introvert to recharge and find harmony.

I also loved:

+ The way the author describes the ways in which introverts think, behave, feel and relate.

+ That the author uses the word p*ss off sparingly. What a lovely verb!

+ The snippets about thoughts and ways of being described by many introverts, which are reproduced throughout the book

+ Some of the techniques used to cut exhausting talkers and how to negotiate, face or say no to parties and noisy stuff.

Having said this, the book is repetitive at times, a bit shallow others, the author offers some generalizations on foreign countries and cultures that are not based on direct experience but on readings that are not produced by locals, the book is unnecessarily wordy at times, and some of the advice given is just obvious. For example, if you are an introvert you do need to retreat and will find ways of retreating no matter what, you don't need a chapter to tell you to do so, or how to do so. There are many examples of the sort.

Most recommended for teenagers and people who feel awkward because they seem to be "boring", "quiet", or a "loner". It will help them to deal better with many of the every-day challenges that introverts face.

I rarely buy or own non-digital books any more. This book was recommended to me in a way that I felt I had to have it in my hands to physically squeeze it. I couldn't resist the cover, that was a decisive yes-buy-it moment - most of my "judge the book by its cover" moments actually work for me.

I am glad that I did because no digital edition would make merit to a book that is sensorial and sensually enjoyable. The texture of the paper, especially of those pages painted in colours, the brightness of the colours and the smell of the pages are invigorating, inspirational and even evanescent. The font is a handwriting sort of font, not the usual printing ones, and the book is full of little funny drawings and sketches made by the author - like a children book for adult women.

The book is structured in different areas of interest, as a personal diary that Sark shares with the reader. All the themes and subjects are very much ingrained into the female psyche and femininity for different reasons (genetic, cultural, social, religious, whatever). Some of the subjects are universal worries, fears or thoughts that most woman have, will have or have had. Despite the lightness and humour of the writing, there is a lot of wisdom, compassion, daring, aha! moments, and, in my case, many moments of mirrored recognition in this book. Each chapter finishes with a list of recommended readings, and soundtracks that go well with the theme. The book has quotes scattered through it, but the ones I would quote come from Sark herself.

Despite being published first in 1977 (I've got the 1997 edition) the book is still so fresh that one cannot but splash oneself with its words and feel it smells of mangoes.

I recommend this book to any woman with W. out there, or any girl who wants to become a woman with W. Men are welcome as a "gifters" to their beloved women with a W.

I just love this book. I have always felt succulent, wild and womanly, but I thought that being too imperfect, too perfect, too matter of fact, too green, too ripe, too much of "me" was far from acceptable. It turns out that the succulence is in the "me", whohoo!, but also in the "we" of us the "xx" chromosomal human beings.

Just a wish - The bibliography at the end of each chapter could be easily updated, and the music tracks too.

Hyperbole and a Half is an hyper-real hyperbolic hyper-witty memoir by Allie Brosh, in which she narrates some episodes related to her childhood, her beloved dogs' behaviour and her adult self.

I loved this book. I was expecting it to be hilarious, as this seems to be the adjective that most people use to describe it. I have found it more witty than anything else, although, sometimes, I have caught myself laughing out loud. The book is a terrific reflection on human nature and on canine nature. My favourite episodes were depression-2, which is heart-breaking but very true, the God of Cake, Lost in the Woods (which can be read also metaphorically), and The Parrot. Personally, I feel connected and identified with some of the things she mentions in Thoughts and Feelings, and Identity 1 (I don't think it is unnecessarily self-deprecating, I think it reflects how must humans are, we are something, want to be another, we bulls*** ourselves, we believe what were are not, and, sometimes, like in Brosh's case, we are aware of it).

Brosh has an incredible talent to reflect on anything that is happening in her life with both sense of humour and depth. That is why she is able to connect with so many people about issues like identity or depression. I love that her dog love is not "smothering", and she treats and speaks of dogs as if they were... animals not just puppets or "kids"!

This is an illustrated graphic  book, in which both the text and the vignettes are important. Sometimes the vignettes illustrate what the author says, in other occasions they add details or depth to the narration. The style of the illustration is voluntary childish regarding the drawing of the human characters, while her dogs and the backgrounds are detailed and well drawn. Sometimes, the same vignette serves to illustrate two different moments, with just the text added, while others it is repeated to show perplexity, and in others minor details are changed for effect. Each chapter has a a different background colour and text colour, which seems to fit the story perfectly, and it is beautiful.

Don't let yourself fool by the illustration style. The book is far from superficial. And it is a terrific memoir. 

Siegel is a Harvard-trained psychotherapist who has developed a branch of medicine called Interpersonal Neuro-biology, an innovative method of integrating brain science and psychotherapy, which considers the mind something that goes beyond the brain.

I really love his approach to human psychology, the fact that this is not a book about alternative medicine or self-help, but very alternative in its scientific approach to psychotherapy. The parts of the book I enjoyed the most are the pages devoted to specific medical cases that Doidge himself treated, which show how this sort of therapy works.

The two basic elements of Mindsight, which provide the individual with emotional stability and development are, according to this book, integration and flexibility. Integration is necessary for the mental and social health of the individual and is acquired in different ways: 1/ integration of consciousness. 2/ Horizontal integration (right and left hemispheres of the brain). 3/ Vertical integration (brain to body). 4/ Integration of explicit and implicit memory. 5 /Integration of our personal narrative, that is how we construct and describe our past and present to the world. 6/ Integration of our different social and emotional states. 7/ Integrating of the "I" with society and the real world. 8/ Integration of life and death, as we are born to die.

The main drawback of the book, to me, is the very long introduction describing how the various parts of the brain and how the brain operates. Page after page with too much information. The target of the book is the general public, so a shorter version, and more structured, it would have worked better. After all, the main target of the book is the general public, not the medical profession.Moreover, Doidge is not especially didactic, not even well-structured, so this part is -or it was for me- difficult to swallow.

Oatmeal states in the introduction of this booklet that his aim is paying a tribute to dogs's soul and nature in general, and to his dog Rambo in particular. He succeeds at doing so. I love the little depiction of Rambo and its odd-not-so-odd behaviour. I love the illustrations, the cuteness of the book, and I've caught myself laughing most of the pages.

However, it was, how to put it?, anticlimactic! You are getting excited, you are hotting up, and then ploff ploff. It stops. Nada. Niente. Rien. I wanted more delightful pages and illustrations, more is better in this sort of books. Why stopping with Rambo's behaviour instead of creating a bit of more narrative and telling us more about dogs in general and Rambo in particular? Why stopping with the basics?

I got the book on Kindle Format, and the rendering is good regarding quality, but not regarding the manageability of the pages and text, as the text cannot be browsed with the same easiness and functionality as in most Kindle format books. To my dismay, the book cannot be open in my Kindle for PC! What a let down!

Lying with the Heavenly woman is an essay that reflects on the relationships of a man with his outer and inner female using Jungian psychology. The first part is devoted to the feminine elements in a man's psyche in general and the second is devoted to what happens when these elements are distorted, contaminated and mixed together, and how they affect the way a man relates to women in general, and the women in his life in particular.

Johnson has a deep knowledge of Jungian Psychology and mythology, and he uses them in this book to explore the relationship of the male psyche with his inner/outer female. Johnson does a good job at describing the mother complex, the mother archetype, the relationship with the sister and the hetaira, but other times he says obvious things that are of little help or depth, while the concept of anima is barely sketched and not properly explained.

The e-book is very short, barely 100 pages, and it feels more like a collection of hurriedly arranged notes on the topic than a proper book. The writing is less precise and more vague than in other of Johnson's books, some of the punctuation and paragraphs too long and unpolished at times.

There are many pearls of wisdom in this book, but I would go for any of the other books by Johnson on the male and female psyche before buying this one. In other words, I would read He and We first.