Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Macolm Gladwell (2019)

, 24 Dec 2019

Gladwell has the talent to speak of relevant issues that affect our modern society and still make the issue engaging and fascinating.

In Talking to Strangers Gladwell uses different study cases coming from the world of politics, espionage, business, court trials, rape, and murder, among others, to extract some common denominators that explain how and why we all relate to strangers the way we do, why we are so bad at talking at strangers, at detecting blatant lies, and seeing  what we really have in front of our us for what it is.

This is an enjoyable, fascinating and complex book waved like an Irish Jersey, using different wool threads and knitting techniques to produce an unique product. Said differently, this isn't a straightforward book. Sometimes, Gladwell seems to be talking about things that have nothing to do with the subject of the book; however, if you listen attentively, you'll realise that everything being said serves to make a point.  If you aren't able to follow a path through a forest to get to destination, this book it isn't for you; this is how the book feels, so the light isn't always there, the path might be obscure and meandering, but keep walking and you'll get there.

After finishing the book I found myself noticing some of the things he comments on the book while watching the news, or talking to my brother about his coworkers, for example. What Gladwell says is really applicable to our daily life and it allows us to see ourselves with a bit of more compassion. 

I love learning new things, and this book was packed with information I knew nothing about:
  • Default truth.
  • Transparency myth.
  • Facial Action Coding System (FADS).
  • Illusion of asymmetric insight. 
  • Kafka Scenario.
  • Myopia theory of alcohol.
  • Displacement theory.
  • And much more. 

SUMMARY OF THE BOOK

We are terrible at talking and making sense of strangers and detecting lies; even judges in court cannot escape this flaw. We all make the same assumptions about strangers, use stereotypes that are rarely true, and believe that the information we gather from a personal interaction is uniquely valuable and reliable, when, in fact, it is far from it.  This is so because our strategies in dealing with strangers are flawed by three evolutionary psychological and cultural constrictions:
1/ Truth Default Theory. We depart from the assumption that everyone we deal with is truthful. We believe something about someone not because we don't have doubts about them, but because we don't have enough doubts. DTT has evolutionary advantages as prevents us from living in paranoia and allows us to have meaningful encounters and relationships. DTT becomes a problem when we are forced to choose between two alternatives, one of them likely and the other impossible to imagine; DTT buys us in favour of the most likely interpretation.
2/ Transparency Myth. We believe that we can decipher a person's nature by looking at their facial expression and paying attention to their demeanor, as we are convinced that those are a window to their soul. In other words, we believe that their behaviour and intentions are an exact match. We can largely blame literature and movies for perpetuating this belief. It's an halo effect. Blind auditions and computer decisions are usually more accurate in deciphering strangers than people. Because we tend to judge people' honesty based on their demeanor, nervous and odd people who offer convoluted explanations aren't seen as believable, and we don't do well with mismatches and social misfits.
3/ Coupling. We aren't able to understand the importance of the context in which a stranger operates, since behaviors are linked to specific circumstances and conditions. For example, some behaviours are consciously coupled to a place or circumstance, like suicide or crime.


THE NOT SO GOOD
The introduction, where  Gladwell discuses the famous meeting between Hernan Cortes and Montezuma and their misunderstanding of each other's intentions. The episode per se is really enjoyable, but the problem was a linguistic problem, a problem of translation, not a problem of not knowing how to talk to strangers. It relates to language and communication, how language and translation work. How strangers work, not so much.

The chapter on alcohol consumption and rape. Granted, most of what Gladwell says about how alcohol affects one's brain, personality and behaviour is true. However, it adds little value to the core thread of the book, and any other example would have worked better. In addition, I find confronting some of the thing he says. I side more with the statement of the raped girl, who didn't blame the alcohol for her rape,  but culture or the way some men are educated. Why do some drunk guys rape drunk girls and not others? is a simple question that can serve to debunk his fixation on alcohol. I am not saying that being drunk doesn't contribute to the problem,  but women are raped every day in countries where alcohol is forbidden and not consumed, doesn't that say something about the intrinsic nature of the problem?

Although I found all the case studies fascinating, the conclusion we get after going through all of them is really simple -- We don't know much about strangers because we are psychologically and culturally wired to be like that, so the only thing we can do is not to apply stereotypes, act with caution and humility towards strangers. What is that supposed to mean? Are there some social, sociological or psychological strategies that we can implement to improve our approach to strangers? Some ways of communication that favor or are detrimental to dealing with strangers beyond what it is said in the book? Are there cultures where people react towards strangers in ways that are wiser and more insightful? I was left wanting a bit of more digging.
 
THE AUDIBLE EDITION
This audio book is a delight to listen to. This is one of those cases when the audio book is better than the written book, and that it's an achievement in itself. 

Gladwell, who also narrates the book, is a terrific storyteller. He knows how to use his voice to read in a way that seems natural, effortless and engaging. He's passionate about what he's talking about, so you can feel the excitement in his voice. He's not an actor or a presenter, so we shouldn't forget that.

Besides, the audio book includes Gladwell's snippets of his interviews with some of the subjects or researchers mentioned in the book. The audio book also reproduces some media and archival interviews, and includes reenactments of some private court proceedings using court transcripts. 
The book chapters are connected by a tribal song. which Gladwell heard and selected himself for the book. It seems irrelevant to the book, but it's quite the contrary.

Listening to this book was like listening to a documentary. It had that sort of freshness and cinematic quality. Delightful.

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The Premonition Code: The Science of Precognition by Theresa Cheung & Julia Mossbridge (2018).

, 3 Dec 2019

The Premonition Code is a book that intends to explain precognition and promote controlled precognitive training called controlled precognition based on positive grounds and well-rounded ethics; the trainees are called Positive Precogs.

The book starts with an introduction to how the book came to be, the stories that inspired it, and the analysis of some scientific information that relates to precognition: the nature of time, causality law, retrocausality, causal loops, and multiple futures. The second part is actually where the training to develop or further your precognitive abilities and skills is discussed and explained in detail. Part three is mostly devoted to the FAQ and to speculation about what the future holds for precognitive people and precognition.

 

THE CORE OF THE BOOK

  • There is more to this life than meets the eye, precognition exists. The definition of precognition that the authors use is consistent with the many-futures theory.
  • There may be a spiritual dimension to precognition.
  • Most of the precognitive stories that people have, despite being real, they are not scientifically verifiable, or easily verifiable either. How do we know that someone has had a genuinely precognitive dream experience is nothing can know with 100% certainty at present.
  • There is a lot of disagreement about how the flow of time works and how or whether one thing causes another. 
  • The criteria necessary to validate that a precognition is genuine: 1/ Two or more correspondences between the precognition and the event. 2/ Less than two weeks delay between the precognition and the event). 3/ One could not have the way to predict the event using the conscious mind. 4/ You recorded the experience before the event happened.
  • The training to become what they call positive precogs, i.e. rained precognitive people who follow a code of contact and use their abilities for good purposes.  This code is based on:
    •  Following the R.E.A.C.H. principles: Respect for the unknown — Ethics in our use of precognition — Accuracy of our precognitive skills — Compassion for ourselves and others —Honesty in all our dealings. 
    • Adhering to the Positive Precog Time Worldview: 1/ Events in the future can influence events in the past and vice versa. 2/The future isn't fixed. 3/ No one has complete control of the future.
    • Daily practicing on controlled precognition, and record of dreams, premonition experiences, and strong impulses an insights related to future events. 
    • Following the six steps for controlled precognition: Step 1: Prepare physically, mentally and practically. Step 2: Reverse the polarity: write down an intention that supports you, and open yourself to receive. Step 3: Connect to the target: give your session a random 4 digit number, draw a squiggle, and set the intention of connecting with the target. Step 4: Learn and discern. Step 5: Disconnect from the target. Step 6: Experience the target.
    •  Following a professional code of ethics with clients.

CURIO

  • The frequency of precognition increases as the event being predicted nears. It’s really rare to have a precognitive dream that predicts an event as far as a year after the dream itself, although it happens.
  • Some personality traits are more conducive to performing well at precognition experiments in the lab. These are: Openness to experience, extroversion, belief in precognition, agreeableness, neuroticism and conscientiousness.  They are enhanced by meditation and affected by hormonal changes.   
  • Alpha and theta entrainment might help with controlled precognition.
  •  Pursuing controlled precognition in an environment that is not supportive can be destabilizing, and affect patients mentally, especially if they already have underlying psychological problems, or have a history of mental illness in their family.

I LIKED

> The authors are direct and honest about the subject, and show an unwavering enthusiasm about the benefits that training in controlled precognition can bring to one's life and the future of society. 
> The different approaches that both authors bring to precognition: science and spirit, academic and lay.
> The book is written in a very direct personal way, plain English, and is easy to understand by any lay person.
> I especially loved this statement by Dean Radin in the foreword:
"Some scientists today assert (with the same misplaced confidence displayed by Lord Kelvin) that now we understand just about everything there is to know about the physical world. They are sure they know what is and is not possible. To them, precognition is flatly impossible because today’s theories don’t allow for such nonsense. Some philosophers also believe that precognition is impossible because they think the idea of knowing the future is logically incoherent. What these scientists and scholars forget is that our theories about reality are always provisional. Our college textbooks are revised into new editions every couple of years because our understanding of reality is continually advancing." (p. 6).
> The precognitive and premonitory personal stories included in the book. I don't think there are too many!
> The controlled precognition system. It is really well explained and structured. Although they suggest the use of paper, I think it can be easily done on a tablet where you have stylus to draw.
> The presence of summary  boxes throughout the book. Also, the way the authors stop to summarize what has been said and what lies ahead. It's very didactic and helpful for the reader.
> Some of the scientific stuff related to precognition is not easy to process by lay readers. Mossbridge has really made an effort to explain those things as simple as possible, and present us with the complexity of issues that relate to precognition explained in a simple way.
> Their definition of precognition (a “memory” of the future) and the explanation on what's the difference between precognition and premonition.
> The reflections on the nature of time in chapter 2 are among my favorite thing in the book. I especially liked seeing how neither physicist, philosophers nor psychologists agree on the flow of time existence, and how little we know about this subject. I wonder if this is like the "flat earth" fallacy of our times.
> The way the authors question the law of causality using real precognitive dreams.
> The information about retrocausality.
> The code of ethics and REACH protocol that they want 'positive precogs' to follow.
> The use of proper academic notes, something especially important when some heavy scientific stuff is mentioned.
> The FAQ in part 3.
>  The controlled precognition troubleshooting guide. 
> Appendix A, which contains an example of controlled precognition, step by step. 
> Appendix B, contains a list of bibliography, websites and phone applications related to precognition. All up to date, hyperlinked and ready to use. Something that I never take for granted and that makes using any book a pleasure.
> Mentions to figures in the book are hyperlinked. Thank you. 

I DIDN'T LIKE.

> Use of the expression Higher Self to mean subconscious/the unconscious. It is confusing because HS  is commonly used in New Age books and has a standard and a status that might confuse readers.
> They call the training on precognition they promote "controlled precognition", but it is just a form of remote viewing. If they had made that clearer in the book description, I might have not purchased it. Whey? Because there are some very good books by the remote viewing masters themselves, and some of them have websites where to practice, as well.
> They speak of precognition as a gift. I think it is just an ability that one can develop, like playing an instrument, or playing sports. Of course, if you are at the top of your game in any activity you might really have a gift. Otherwise, I don't think so.
> I found difficult wrapping my head about causal loops. It might be just me, but it relates to precognition but it is not the same, but it might be  related... confusing.
> Some parts of the book are highly speculative and generic. This is especially the case when they describe how life will change if you practice controlled precognition, and the last words devoted to imagine how the future might be if controlled precognition was a mainstream activity.
>  Constant promotion of their website. Granted, they don't sell anything or charge you for joining their training program. However, it is a bit tiring, and at a certain point the reader feels that the book is just an accessory to the website.
> I don't like precognition being used or recommended to be used in anything related to the stock market. The stock market is highly unethical, so why would anyone with a good code of ethics have anything to do with a system that is populated by companies and corporations that contribute to global warming, war, poverty and destroy nations and  ruin complete families who have nothing to do with it?
> Despite the fact that they state that most spontaneous precognition arrives via dreams, there is little space devoted to discuss how premonitory dreams can come to be; leaving aside the specific dreams that they mention in the book, the information that they present on dreams is really basic.
>  One of the criteria mentioned for a genuine precognition to be valid is that there should be less than two weeks separation between the precognition and the event it referred to. My personal experience says that this is not always the case. Besides, I've read tons of books on dreams, and there are cases of premonition that take years to occur.

WHERE WAS THE EDITOR?

 I think the book needs of another reading by the editor. I found the following examples of bad edition, some of which might be just the result of the conversion of the book to electronic format. Others, no.
  • Bad bullet list —  the sentence "Wait, you might now ask – what exactly is a causal loop?" should go underneath the numbered list that summarizes what the authors had said before.  (p. 42).
  • Badly done bullet list — There is a list of the traits that 'positive precogs' tend to have, it is an example on how to make a list. The list start with three items bulleted, then comments on others, which are also part of the list but not bulleted. Homogenize please! (p. 83)
  • Not formal or really good English — "updates on what she’s found". (p. 87).
  • Badly written — "First, it’s because remote viewing an event not known until the future is not really what it sounds like – as if you see something far away in space" (p. 90).
  • Missing hyphen or space — "complex decisionmaking" (p. 93) or "anxietyproducing" (p. 162).
  • Repeated words — "can be experienced by by practicing" in (p. 123).
  • Footnotes seemed to have converted badly, and some numerical ones alternate with lettered ones.
  • Besides, some of the lettered notes are not hyperlinked (K and M especially) while others are. 

IN SHORT

Overall this is a good book, packed with information, which touches on subjects that go from the mundane to the highly scientific, from the personal to the transpersonal.

I was expecting something different from what I got, as their controlled precognition training is pretty much remote viewing revamped. However, I also think that they have a fresh new approach to it, and that their system is uncomplicated to put it into practice, although it needs of training and constant practice. 

For the rest, the book reads well, is very enjoyable, and it has a good mix of personal stories and complex scientific matters digested for the masses. However, I would have liked it more if it was written a bit less colloquially, it had been better edited, and had less references to their website. These ladies depart from ethical principles for the use and training on precognition, something that must be praised.

A very enjoyable reading and I learned a lot about things I knew nothing about.

The Premonition Code is such a great title!



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